To Be Continued

I want to start writing on here again...

The Antecedent Events Of My Present Life

I've always believed that your past was your past. Whatever happened years ago, was just stuff that happened. It gets stored in a vault, put a way and doesn't have to ever be opened up unless you voluntarily and consciously want it to. I always believed that we had to move on from the past because in that one given moment in time, we were all different people from the present time. Don't get me wrong. I love to reminisce and recall memories, but the past doesn't just contain laughs, jokes and goodtimes.Unfortunately, there's pain, hardship, drama and tears. I always thought those bad memories were locked up in the vault once I was able to accept what happened and move on from them. As a girl, I subconsciously look for reasons why things happen and try to find the good out of situations because for some reason I must learn and grow from occurrences in my life. The things I put in the vault and lock up sadly don't just vanish off the face of the earth. You can't run away from it. A part of me thought I could. The past has no significance in the present time. But what I didn't realize was that the past will always be there. Yes you can move on and accept what's happened. But it will always be with you. The past makes up who a person is today, regardless if the person you are now is nothing like the person back then. But for you to realize the foolish, childish and idiotic self you were five years ago was not who you wanted to be in life, you had to see and realize that before you could even say that that's not want you want to be in life. I'd like to think we make bad decisions and mistakes to cross off things we don't want in search for the things that we do. Anyway you slice it, the past is the past. Take from it what you want, but just know it doesn't disappear, it becomes history - something so very easy to be recalled and searched for. Next time something is about to go into the vault, think twice. Yes, move on and accept what's happened, but never ever doubt that it will come back because it's changed and affected who you are in the present day. "...here's the thing: I don't think you move on, really, from the past. You do, but you don't. You carry it with you. You make it as light as you can. As light as feathers." -- Maria Morgan.

Won't You Be My Valentine?

"You and me found something pretty neat..." =)

'98

When your song plays,
and the melody fills the room
I think of you.
When I see your favourite colour,
and those flowers that you loved
I think of you.

I miss you.

Rest in peace. <3